Here is a great story by Rabbi Twerski. A young man enjoying eating a dish of fish. Another man is asking him: “Why are you eating this fish?” when the young man replies: “Because I love fish!”
“Oh, says the man, that’s why you took it out of the water, killed it and boiled it! Don’t tell me you love fish, you love yourself, and because the fish tastes good to you, you took it out of the water, killed it and boiled it.”
So much what we call love is fish love. How much of the love we are expressing for others only caters for our own needs? Hence, the other person becomes a vehicle for our own gratification.
Twerski goes on stating that we don’t give to those we love but rather love those to whom we give, as when we give, we invest something in the other person and as we love ourselves, now that part of us has become “in the other person”, so it’s part of us we love. Consequently, true love is an unconditional love of giving.
On my long endurance runs I pondered on that question. How much of the actions I take are unconditional versus calculated? How much do I rather love myself? As an ex banker I have a big EGO, trust me on that one! My conclusion came along what I believe is the essence of my coaching: Becoming aware of my/our actions and, again and again asking myself/ourselves: What purpose does my/our action serve?
And even I might ever so often fail (no excuse) on the right purpose I would want to be conscious of my decisions.
Better awareness leads to more and better choices, leading to better results (Robin Sharma)